Still Can't Say Goodbye!

Yeah, I've been meaning to start writing about my Aunt's journey with Multiple Myeloma but I realized I still have not fully internalized the fact that she's no longer with us. Some days I expect her to enter our home and play a bit with my kids or maybe bring them a surprise like an injured bird or a wiggly worm.

Every time we pass by the hospital where she spent her last days, my younger daughter will encourage us all to say goodbye to Nana. We do miss her a lot. She's been a part of our lives for many, many years that her memory will always stay with us.

Bear with me my friends! I will soon have the drive to write about what she went through! God bless you all!

For My Aunt!

My Aunt who suffered from Multiple Myeloma died on the last week of November 2008 at the age of 70 after being in the hospital for about 10 days. She would have wanted to live longer but her body just can't handle it anymore. We, her family, terribly miss her but we get comfort from the knowledge that she's no longer in pain.

As I put her things in order after her death, I came across some of the notes she had written about what she was going through especially during her chemotherapy. I just can't help but shed some tears as I read them. How I wish I was more patient with her. How I wish I did more for her.

But wishing will get me nowhere. I have decided to blog about my Aunt's journey with Multiple Myeloma instead. It is my hope that it will help others, especially those who has a loved one with the same condition.

I Need a Break!

Last night I remembered about my blog. It's been more than 2 months since I updated it. I thought about the reasons why I haven't been blogging -- I have lots to blog about but I just don't have the time.

Lately I have been getting less than 7 hours of sleep everyday. I wake up early to prepare my older child for school and I sleep late because of the oh-so-many things I need to do with the added responsibility of taking care of my Aunt who has Multiple Myeloma and is on chemo.

My Aunt lives alone next door. She has been diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma 5 years ago. Lately, it's more difficult for her to move around and so she's always in bed. We have been on the lookout for somebody to take care of her needs but with my Aunt's "micromanaging" it's hard to find someone who has the patience to be with her. So, until we do find somebody, the responsibility to take care of her falls on me.

I love my Aunt and I don't mind taking care of her, however, the added responsibility has robbed me of my "life" as well as that of my family. We can no longer go out whenever or wherever we want like we used to. We've been eating canned goods lately because we don't have time to go to the market. It's been really a stressful situation for all of us these past 6 weeks. I feel like a prisoner in my own home.

I need a break and I'm really hoping we'll be able to hire somebody to be with my Aunt soon. That does not mean I no longer have a part in taking care of her -- I will continue to have a part in providing for her everyday needs but I will sleep better knowing somebody is with her especially at night.