A Mother's Separation Anxiety

When my 6 year old was still a toddler, she used to sleep beside me. Even after I had weaned her, she wanted to sleep with her body close to me and her leg usually up on my hip or leg. She loved having my arms around her and sometimes her hand is on my armpit.

When our second child was born, I placed the new baby on my right side while my older child was on my left. There were times when I had to nurse the baby and could not cuddle my older daughter to sleep since I have my back to her. Not wanting to make her feel bad, I just encouraged her to hug me instead while I'm holding her hand. It worked! She did not feel left out and she still felt close to me.

Months passed by and our second daughter grew and developed her own mind. Even though I still placed her on my right side, she preferred sleeping beside her older sister and have some "tickling fun" with her before going to sleep. Because I wanted them to enjoy bonding with each other, I did not discourage my younger daughter to sleep beside her big sister. It put a stop however to my bedtime cuddles with my older child.

With her younger sister between me and my older child, we contented ourselves to just plain hand holding. After a while, I encouraged her to be cuddled to sleep by her daddy until she pushed me away when I tried to cuddle her to sleep while my younger daughter was with my husband. I felt really bad. I felt like my older child no longer needed me. It was at that point I thought about having my own separation anxiety which led me to think about what's going to happen in the future when my kids are older and have their own families. I felt like crying then.

With my anxiety in mind, I slowly tried to renew bonding with my older daughter. While in bed, I lovingly rub her arms and tummy and hold her hand. I also tell her I love her as often as I can. At first she would push my hand away but lately she does not mind anymore. Whenever possible, she would like for me to cuddle her and hold her hand. I hope we'll stay close even when she's older, same with my younger child.

Health Concerns

Healthwise, everything's not well in our family these past weeks. My older daughter never completely got over her cough and colds. During the day, she seems fine but it's a totally different story in the middle of the night and around 7 in the morning. During these times she either coughs or sneezes continuously.

As a mom, my heart bleeds for her. Her sleep is disrupted and she's having a hard time. Hers is not just a simple case of cough and colds anymore. Like me, she coughs and sneezes as allergic reaction to whatever allergen is found in our environment. Sad part is, we have no way of completely shielding her from these allergens without disrupting her everyday life as a young child.

Nowadays, fresh and clean air is not something you can easily enjoy. We are having these allergies because of dirty air. Sometimes neighbors' activities are the cause or contributing factors to our polluted atmosphere. Just imagine what it would be like ten years from now. I hope all citizens of the world will open their eyes and do their part to save our planet. Just think about our children and their future.

Preoccupations

My nephew has been asking me to update my blog as he enjoys reading about his cousins and what's happening in our home. It was my intention to post at least 3 times a week but I had lots of things to do lately. An Extrasuper Mom has limitations too, you know.

Aside from being busy with my online work, I've been having allergic rhinitis almost daily. I try not to take my medications for it since I usually end up feeling groggy and sleepy. Add to that, my toddler has been more of an attention-seeker lately. These past days and weeks, she's been acting more like a baby. She prefers me to spoonfeed her even though she can easily feed herself. One time, she handed me a piece of bread that she was eating and motioned to me that she wanted me to put it in her mouth. I can't say she's lazy. She just wanted to be given more attention, not that she lacks attention in my opinion.

With so many things to do, I'd rather play or do something that does not require much thinking whenever I have free time. Not that I don't enjoy blogging anymore. I just need some time to rest my mind.

To my dear nephew, I hope you will not grow weary visiting my blog. I'll try to be a better blogger but please don't expect me to have a new post daily. If I do have something interesting to post, you can be sure you'll read it here.